Tuesday, 4 August 2015

Making Sense of the Chaos

"What has been will be again,what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun"
(Ecclesiastes 1:9, NIV)

Nor, it turns out, is there anything new in all of the posts I've been writing so far this year. 

It's been one of those times, again, where everything's been a bit overwhelming. My 26 years of life so far have been a constant, steady stream of all-or-nothing, and this has definitely been one of the "all" times. So much has been going on at once, and I've barely had a spare moment to write any of it down. Things to do, things to read, people to meet, plans to make. Everything's felt new, fresh, exciting. 

Except the funny thing is that, in all of the "newness", there really hasn't been anything new after all.

Yet again my folder-of-posts-to-be-finished-later has reached ridiculous levels, and so today I've had a clear-out. As I skimmed through some of the half-formed fragments of thought that I've hastily tapped out in the past few months, it all sounded rather familiar. Dozens of different trains of thought, so many different threads, seemingly all over the place; but in amongst them I could see echoes of things that have been on my mind a lot, far more recently. 

The tone was different then, yes: less certain, more hesitant, but looking back I can see the first stirrings of what's happening now. I'm glad I didn't force it, compel myself to finish something just for the sake of finishing it: I think if I had, I would have lost something of the story along the way. 

Over the past few weeks, and then more intensively in the last 24 hours, a whole lot of those threads have started coming together. It's been...interesting, to say the least. They've all come back to three distinct themes: courage, honesty and vulnerability. So that's where I'm going to start. Over the coming days I'll talk a little more about what I've been learning, and thinking about, centered around those three main topics. They're all closely linked, and the story is the same, but I'll be exploring it from three different angles. 

Are you sitting comfortably? Good, then I'll begin. 

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