Monday, 29 June 2015

Tipping Point

Hello! I'm back. Did you miss me?

Last time I shared here I wrote about the changing seasons: not just in the physical world around me, but in my own life as well. It turns out spring was a time to rest, and not write. Now summer's here, I have a sneaking suspicion that's all about to change.

It's funny. I originally started writing this post by talking about the transformation it feels as if I've undergone in the last couple of weeks. I was halfway through explaining that it's all come out of the blue (apart from a restlessness that I've been aware of for a while) when I read my last post, from March.


(As an aside, this is why I love blogging. I'm a hopeless journaller, so had I not posted that a few months back, the connection would have been forgotten and I'd have missed out on a bit of much-needed encouragement.)

Reading it back now, it's striking so many chords that I can't quite believe it. New things on the horizon. Exciting. Scary. Things from long ago, starting to make more sense. New things. And I mentioned an upcoming gear change. I think it's here.

Reading and reflecting on all of this, and how it links in with what's happened over the past couple of weeks, has only served to make me even more excited. It's as clear a confirmation as I could have hoped for that I'm on the right track. That I need to grab the changes that are coming with both hands and make the most of every opportunity.

Yesterday was the tipping point. But before that came a somewhat unlikely catalyst, just over a week ago. A conversation - completely unrelated to any of this - with a brilliant friend who, with a large dose of tough love, managed to help me see through a lot of the lies I'd been believing, and spoke truth instead, right to where I needed it.

Sometimes, it just takes someone else you love and trust to remind you of things you knew all along really, deep down. I can't say it was fun, or easy (it wasn't). Sometimes the truth hurts (it did, a bit). But what I do know is that, when all is said and done, it's given me the confidence to walk a bit taller, and started me off on this journey.

But if the catalyst felt like an unlikely one, the thing that brought me to the tipping point was even more so.

I'm in the middle of reading Red Moon Rising at the moment (if you haven't read it, you should; it's awesome). Reading stories of other people's crazy, exciting adventures with Jesus really stirred up a longing in my heart for some of the same. It got me thinking about some of my own: visions of what I thought God wanted my life to look like. Dreams of what I'd love my life to look like. Just as I was getting the first pangs of envy, of "how come they get to do this and see that and I'm still waiting for mine?" something stopped me in my tracks, while I was sitting and reading in the pub last night, waiting for my friends.

Why aren't you doing anything about it?


I'd spent so long waiting for things to happen, that I'd lost sight of the fact that I should have been taking steps towards them myself. Why on earth hadn't I been praying into these dreams? Why had I just been sitting around being comfortable, when I knew there were things I could do to shift things into a higher gear?

What on earth was I thinking?

Now more than ever I feel it's the time that things are beginning to shift into place. But I know that I need to be part of it, before I really know what it is. I can start by praying into the pictures God's already given me, and asking for the next steps. I can do that from anywhere, and without knowing anything else. But I also know there's a practical step that I can - no, not can, need to - take. So I'm going to. I'm not going to be content with letting things stagnate anymore. It's not going to be easy, and it won't always be fun, but I know it's important.

Part of the process since then has been the realisation that some of the things I'd really prayed into before just don't fit in with these big dreams. I know now is the time to set them aside - probably not just for a season, but forever. And I never thought I'd be saying so, but that's completely fine.

I mentioned at the start of the year that my two words for 2015 were passion and restoration. I'm going to be cheeky and add a third, at this halfway point: Unlikely. It's been a recurring theme so far, and I know it's going to continue. I've ended a lot of blog posts this way in the past, but I'll say it again. I'm really excited for what's next. I'll keep you posted on my adventures! 

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