Christmas is always hard for me. Even before dad, it seemed like Bad Things happened disproportionately often between late November and early January.
The thing that makes it hardest is that I really, really love Christmas, and I always have - but these days it makes me feel nervous, uneasy. There's always that nagging feeling that something terrible is about to happen. That, coupled with the little things that suddenly bring to mind all kinds of unwelcome memories of years gone by, mean it often doesn't feel like the most wonderful time of the year.