'Tis(n't always) the Season to be Jolly

Christmas is always hard for me. Even before dad, it seemed like Bad Things happened disproportionately often between late November and early January.

The thing that makes it hardest is that I really, really love Christmas, and I always have - but these days it makes me feel nervous, uneasy. There's always that nagging feeling that something terrible is about to happen. That, coupled with the little things that suddenly bring to mind all kinds of unwelcome memories of years gone by, mean it often doesn't feel like the most wonderful time of the year.

Stop Stealing My Joy

It’s safe to say it’s been a pretty intense week. 

There’s been a whole lot of joy. The feeling when you're taking the first tentative steps into something new, even if you’re not quite certain what that something will be, just yet. The unshakeable sense that it's right, at least for now. The thinking about what’s next. 

But oh, how quickly something else sneaks in to try and steal that joy. Filling my head and heart with lies - the worst kind, the kind with a grain of half-truth at the centre. Something that happened before - or that may have been true in the past - that can't be disputed, now being used to paint a picture of a bleak and hopeless future. Pressing me to forget all of the goodness, and instead to focus on the one thing that I'm really struggling with. The thing that I find much, much harder than I'd ever care to admit, even to myself.

For the Odd-Coloured Days

Inspired by my good friend Joey’s blog over at Rhythms, I’m taking a break from my usual type of post to start an important conversation. 

So, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say…